A Beginner’s Guide to Adult Toys: How to Choose Your First One Without Stress

So, you’ve decided to explore the world of adult toys. First of all—congratulations! Whether you’re flying solo or shopping with a partner, this is an exciting step toward understanding what brings you pleasure. But if you’re feeling a little overwhelmed by the sheer variety out there, you’re not alone. Walking into this world for the first time can feel like being dropped into a candy store where you don’t know what half the candy does.
Let’s take the stress out of the equation and talk about how to choose your first adult toy with confidence.

Start With What You Already Know You Like

The best place to begin is with yourself. Think about what already feels good to you. Do you prefer external stimulation? Internal? A combination of both? Are you drawn to gentle sensations or something more intense? There’s no right or wrong answer here—just what works for you.
If you’re not entirely sure yet, that’s perfectly okay too. Part of the fun is discovering what you enjoy, and your first toy doesn’t have to be your forever toy. Think of it as the beginning of a journey, not a final destination.

Keep It Simple for Your First Purchase

When you’re just starting out, simpler is usually better. You don’t need the most advanced, multi-function device with seventeen settings and Bluetooth connectivity (yes, that’s a real thing). A straightforward toy that does one or two things well is often the most satisfying choice for beginners.
Classic vibrators, simple bullet vibes, or basic external massagers are popular first choices for good reason—they’re intuitive to use, effective, and take the guesswork out of the experience. You can always graduate to more complex toys later once you know what you’re looking for.

Size Matters (But Not How You Think)

Let’s address the elephant in the room: size. Many first-time buyers worry about choosing something too big or too small. Here’s the truth—bigger is definitely not always better, especially when you’re just starting out.
If you’re considering something for internal use, beginning with a smaller or medium-sized option is usually the way to go. You can always size up later if you want to, but starting too large can lead to discomfort and might put you off the whole experience. Remember, adult toys are designed to enhance pleasure, not test your limits.

Material Matters More Than You’d Think

This might not be the most exciting part of toy shopping, but it’s one of the most important: pay attention to what your toy is made of. Body-safe materials like medical-grade silicone, ABS plastic, stainless steel, or glass are what you want to look for.
Why does this matter? These materials are non-porous, which means they won’t harbor bacteria, and they’re free from potentially harmful chemicals. Silicone is particularly popular because it’s soft, flexible, body-safe, and easy to clean. It’s worth spending a little more for quality materials—this is your body we’re talking about, after all.
Avoid anything labeled as “jelly rubber” or that doesn’t clearly state what it’s made from. Your health and safety should always come first.

Consider Your Lifestyle and Privacy Needs

Think about your living situation. Do you have roommates? Thin walls? Need something discreet that can hide easily? These practical considerations matter more than you might initially think.
Some toys are whisper-quiet, while others sound like a small lawnmower (okay, that’s an exaggeration, but you get the idea). If discretion is important to you, look for toys specifically marketed as quiet or consider smaller options that are easier to store privately.
Travel-friendly designs, lockable features, and inconspicuous appearances can all be worth considering depending on your circumstances.

Don’t Skimp on Lube (Seriously)

Here’s a pro tip that will transform your experience: invest in good lubricant. Even if you think you don’t need it, using lube with your toys makes everything smoother, more comfortable, and more pleasurable.
For silicone toys, use water-based lubricant. Silicone-based lubes can degrade silicone toys over time. For glass or metal toys, either water-based or silicone-based lube works great. This small addition to your purchase can make a huge difference in your experience.

Read Reviews, But Take Them With a Grain of Salt

Customer reviews can be incredibly helpful when choosing your first toy, but remember that everybody is different. What sends one person over the moon might do absolutely nothing for another. Look for reviews that mention build quality, battery life, noise level, and durability rather than focusing solely on the pleasure ratings.
Pay attention to comments about size comparisons, intensity levels, and ease of use. These practical details will give you a better sense of whether a particular toy is right for you as a beginner.

Your Budget: What to Expect

Adult toys come in a huge range of prices, from under $20 to several hundred dollars. For your first toy, you don’t need to break the bank, but investing in quality is worthwhile. Generally, you can find excellent beginner-friendly options in the $30-$80 range that will be body-safe, reliable, and effective.
Think of it this way: you’re investing in your pleasure and well-being. It’s worth getting something that will last and that you’ll actually enjoy using.

The Bottom Line: Trust Yourself

At the end of the day, the “perfect” first toy is the one that feels right for you. There’s no test to pass, no wrong choices, and no judgment. The adult toy industry has evolved tremendously, and products are now designed with real bodies and real pleasure in mind.
Take your time browsing, don’t be afraid to ask questions (that’s what we’re here for!), and remember that exploration should be fun, not stressful. Your pleasure matters, and taking this step to prioritize it is something to feel good about.
Happy exploring!